


polariods and outcasts (rather burnout young than grow up fast)

by Ilthi



Category: VIXX
Genre: #iamalil'srry, #srrynotsrry, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, and now you have to live with my bad decisions, but then i felt bad, i listened to way too much eden project when writing this, me being arsty, sad jaehwan, was going to be hella angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-12
Updated: 2016-05-12
Packaged: 2018-06-07 22:25:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6827668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ilthi/pseuds/Ilthi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jaehwan learns how to let go of the past.</p>
            </blockquote>





	polariods and outcasts (rather burnout young than grow up fast)

**Author's Note:**

> i am actually sorry about this. i tried to be artsy and it may or may not have failed (｡･･｡)
> 
> based off of eden- end credits.

It had been a year since Hongbin had left Jaehwan. Not in the sense that he killed himself, no, but in the literal sense. Hongbin had left with a sad smile on his face, the dimples he loved to poke non-existent as he broke the news.

 

“ _I'm sorry, Jaehwan.”_

 

No he wasn't. If he was, then he wouldn't be leaving, would've tried working through their problems instead of running away. But that was the thing about photographers- they captured emotions but never really tried to feel it themselves.

 

They hid behind their camera and captured the world they wanted to see. No matter what they liked to think, they weren't capturing a reality, but rather a fantasy.

 

Of course, this could just be his bitterness speaking. It wasn't as if he was much better, he was a writer.

 

It had been a year since Hongbin had left and since Jaehwan had looked through the stuff he left behind. If it was intentional, he wouldn't know, but what he did know was that he left the good memories behind. Took the bad ones with him, probably to remind himself not to come back.

 

Jaehwan didn't know if he would take him back if he did.  
  
(He was a filthy liar. He would take Hongbin back in a heartbeat.)

 

So now here he was, looking through a box of pictures that Hongbin had taken throughout the three years they had been together. Why he decided to do this to himself, he didn't know. It wouldn't bring any sort of closure nor would it answer any questions he had. (The most prominent one was: Why? Wasn't he happy?)

 

Sometimes questions were best left unanswered, he thought with a small frown as he picked up one of the small pictures. It was of a tall, dark haired man with cat-like eyes laying in bed. Taekwoon. Even if he couldn't place where they were, he would never forget that man as he was the one who stole Hongbin's heart.

 

Jaehwan supposed he could understand why, the man was brooding and mysterious, the perfect muse for Hongbin. The more time they spent together, the more he could tell Hongbin was falling for him and there wasn't anything he could do. After all, he was an open book, someone who didn't shy away from telling people what they wanted to know.

 

Hongbin liked challenges and Jaehwan wasn't complex enough.

 

That wasn't to say that they weren't happy together, rather the opposite, but Taekwoon fit Hongbin. He could go on and say they were two pieces of the same puzzle, but he wasn't that artsy. They just... completed each other.

 

The light in his eyes became brighter with every conversation that revolved around his muse and while he was powerless to stop it, Jaehwan was happy for Hongbin. Just because he was losing him didn't mean he couldn't keep a smile on his face the entire time.

 

He was happy for the other, he reminded himself as he picked up a picture with a sunny backdrop, their faces pushed together and eyes closed, wide grins on their face.  
  
Flipping it over, he saw that it was taken within the second year, possibly before Taekwoon entered their lives. 

 

×××

 

“ _Hey, Jaehwan, there's someone I want you to meet!” Hakyeon, the “mother” of the group had shouted across the busy café, causing him to cringe internally. He was positive that the man wouldn't know volume control even if it strangled him. Still, he made his way over despite the urge to walk the other way and pretend he didn't know the other._

 

_He was glad curiosity won over as it gave him the opportunity to meet Hongbin. The then black-haired male had his back facing the foor and when their eyes met, he had blushed shyly, letting Hakyeon introduce the two. Muttering a small 'hello' when Jaehwan sat down and Hakyeon had left for a meeting, Jaehwan knew he was done for._

 

_The shy demeanour slipped away when the two started talking and by the time the coffee in their cups had gotten cold, Jaehwan had asked Hongbin out on a date, one not set up by a mutual friend._

 

_Three dates later and Hongbin asked him to be his boyfriend._

 

×××

 

_Jaehwan walked into a quiet apartment, library books placed on the dining room table as he walked to the back room. Hongbin was sitting on the bed, suitcase packed with what Jaehwan could only assume were essentials and all of his clothing. Despite his looks, Hongbin really only wore ten outfits._

 

_It was endearing, really, how he didn't play up his looks with fancy clothing and yet he still looked better than everyone around him._

 

_However, when he stepped foot in the room, he could tell something was wrong. The other wasn't looking at him and he wasn't sure if he wanted him to at the time._

 

Maybe it would've hurt less, Jaehwan frowned at the memory.

 

“ _I'm sorry, Jaehwan.” Hongbin's voice didn't sound particularly sorry, just sad with a little bit of hope in there. Hope that this will go easy or it wouldn't hurt, hope that Jaehwan would be okay with it._

 

He wasn't okay with it, but he had seen it coming from a mile away. He should've had himself to blame for not holding on tighter.

 

“ _It's Taekwoon, isn't it?” Jaehwan's voice had come out surprisingly steady. It wasn't as if he was falling apart inside, oh no, you wouldn't think anything was going on inside._  
  
He was detached, the tell-tale burning in his eyes curiously absent.

 

 _The small nod from Hongbin really was the only answer he needed at this point. Should he say something though? Something to keep the other with him?_  
  
Nothing he could ever say would keep Hongbin with him.

 

_So, like the weak man he was, he could only utter a small “okay.”, voice cracking halfway through. Hongbin's head raised with that, a small, sad smile on his face as he got up, suitcase handle in his grasp, and placed a small kiss on the corner of Jaehwan's lips._

 

_That kiss felt like a stab to his already broken heart._

 

×××

 

Sighing and placing the photos back into the large box, he grabbed the discarded lid and placed it back on the box just in time for a voice to ring through the apartment.  
  
“Jaehwan, you here?”

 

He would be able to place that voice anywhere- Sanghyuk. He was the newest addition to Jaehwan's life, introduced yet again by Hakyeon. While the two didn't “click” right away, they had grown closer over time. It had been almost shocking to Jaehwan, he didn't think he'd be able to get close to someone for a little while after Hongbin had left, but then Sanghyuk entered and found a way into his heart, as cheesy as it sounded.

 

“Yeah.” He shouted back, pausing for a moment as he shoved the box underneath his bed. Out of sight and out of mind. “I'll be out in a moment.”

 

It turns out he didn't have to say that because when he looked back, he saw Sanghyuk standing in the doorway, an easy grin on his lips. He was almost envious of how carefree and easygoing the other was, but envy wasn't his style. Instead, he learned to love it, it was what made Sanghyuk _Sanghyuk_.

 

Tilting his head to the side, the grin turned cheeky. “Whatcha doin' on the floor?” He held out one of his hands to help Jaehwan off the floor and he took it, trying not to stumble from the force used to haul him up. “Oh, you know... things.” Jaehwan chuckled, rubbing the back of his head.

 

“Yeah, well, Hakyeon was about to throw a fit if you didn't come down and so I though I'd give you a fair warning.” Sanghyuk took a step closer, his grip on his hand tightening slightly. “But I figured a few more minutes wouldn't kill him.”

 

Letting out a small laugh at that, Jaehwan shook his head. “No, but it would probably kill us.” He didn't really feel like testing the accuracy of that statement, but when he turned to grab his jacket, Sanghyuk yanked him back and wrapped his arms around his chest.

 

“But Jaehwan~” He whined, lips forming into a well practised pout as he rested his head on Jaehwan's shoulder. “He doesn't know that I ran up the stairs.” There was a mischievous lilt to his voice and Jaehwan gave up with a dramatic sigh, turning around in his grasp.  
  
Leaning in, his breath ghosting over the other's lips, he smirked. “You're such a brat, Hyukkie.” Jaehwan cooed before twisting out of the grasp the younger had him in, grabbing his jacket and sprinting to the front door, wrenching it open before a larger hand pushed it closed again.

 

Turning around with a wide smile, Jaehwan saw a smug smile on Sanghyuk's face as he leaned in. “Caught you.” He seemed a bit too pleased with this fact. Letting out a long suffering groan, Jaehwan found he couldn't keep the smile off of his face.

 

“I guess you did.” He agreed before meeting the other halfway, placing a chaste, but sweet kiss on Sanghyuk's lips.

 

×××

 

Even though it had been a year since Hongbin had left Jaehwan for someone who was better for him, Jaehwan found someone who complimented him even better.

 


End file.
